It's Nothing Serious

Next Gen Slogans, What do they mean?

In Seth Nicholas Abel on July 3, 2009 at 2:59 pm
wii_move_you-11840

Wii move your bowels?

Slogans are little slivers of advertising, they allow marketers to suggest the product has some sort of quality well beyond what it’s actually capable of.

Kodak film boasts “You click the button, we do the rest.” But the rest is a pretty long list of things, taking the film out of the camera, driving to the one hour photo-mat, and hanging out across the street at McDonalds until the pimply teen is done pawing through your photographs for nude pictures of your wife. No Kodak doesn’t really do the rest. But what about game slogans, what do they say about consoles and how can they be improved?

More funny after the jump…

Wii – Wii move you.

Originally the Wii was “The Nintendo Revolution” but I guess Nintendo realized that it sounded too much like 360. Plus, naming yourself Wii lets you make clever puns, most of them having to do with peeing, but still, peeing can be fun right?

What does it mean?
We make you get up off your fat American ass and get some exercise. So parents don’t be afraid to buy this for your kids. Kids, you don’t get it, that’s okay, because your parents are the ones with the money, remember we’ve got Mario!

Suggestions for better slogans.
Someday Wii will release a game.
Wii will Wii will rock you. (You know the song)
Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! (as screamed by an overexcited child on Christmas morning, or by the guy in Deliverance.)

Ps3 – This is living.
Sony has taken a page from health food marketers on the European PS3 slogan. Eat organic foods, play PS3, it’s good for you!

What does it actually mean?
Sony’s slogan has a double meaning from the old school of thought that people attribute supernatural qualities to products. First Sony wants you to think of it’s product as some sort of living super-machine capable of things that other systems aren’t. The other side of this coin is that the PS3 is marketed as a lifestyle choice, “if you have this sleek black machine in your house you have a higher standard of living.” This is a kind of comparative statement, saying that other consoles just aren’t high quality machines.  Thanks Sony, now I feel bad.

Suggestions for better slogans.
Twice the price twice the device.
The cheapest Blu-Ray available.
It transforms into a laser shooting hovercraft.

Xbox360 – Jump in.

Xbox has a simple slogan. One that says absolutely nothing. Instead it lets the buyer decide what the Xbox experience is about. To me “Jump in” has always been synonymous with “leap without looking!” Buy this product, go ahead,  weighing your options isn’t for people like you, people who don’t need the facts to make decisions. Be a man!

What does it actually mean?
MS wants you to feel immersed in their online experience, and to a certain degree this slogan seems to work. It’s just too bad that jump in means that you’re jumping into a septic tank filled with cantankerous brats.

Suggestions for better slogans.
Only 16-30% failure rate!
We’ve got Halo and Gears nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa.

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