It's Nothing Serious

Australian Pirates Face Three Strikes

In Tess LaCoil on July 17, 2009 at 1:35 pm
That Guy from EVE.

That Guy from EVE.

Pirates downloading games will face a new threat from the Australian Government. In further defiance of the nation’s convict past the Communications Minister, Stephen Conroy has announced that pirates caught downloading illegal material three times will face the death penalty.

This is a dramatic shift in governmental policy after capital punishment was discontinued in 1967. Some have named it a return to colonial attitudes. Others have said severity of the punishment is excessive, especially for a crime viewed as minor, but Minister Conroy disagrees.

“We have stood by this base, illegal practice far too long. The due season for reform is now, lest helpless corporations continue suffering needlessly,” he told reporters. “Software pirates will be face death by Sydney Funnelweb spiders and half a dozen rabid wallabies released, with the prisoner, into an arena at dawn on the day of their execution. Aside from ridding the nation of these parasites, the executions will serve as anti-piracy ads.”

“It’s so nice to see the Australian Government taking our side in this issue. Our last release only found us with a $160 million profit which was a tragic disappointment to the whole company. I will take great pleasure in seeing these pirates get what they richly deserve,” commented a corporate director at the news.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: