It's Nothing Serious

Posts Tagged ‘World of Warcraft’

Reliable Source: All Your Bus Are Belong To Us

In Tess LaCoil on January 16, 2010 at 1:39 pm

As expected, he moved away instantly when my butt neared his face.”

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Man Breaks up With World of Warcraft

In Seth Nicholas Abel on July 27, 2009 at 1:28 pm
You'll be back.

You'll be back.

James Shoemaker, a level 80 Death Knight recently broke up with his girlfriend of four years, World of Warcraft. In his letter to Warcraft he wrote,

“Dear Warcraft,

We’ve been here before, the boredom and frustration of the endless grind that is our relationship. I know you’ve tried to change, promising that you’ll eventually be happy with who you are and give me what I want.
I know you can never change. Every time I feel like I am getting close to you hurt me by nerfing my ability to experience the content that makes up your darkest nooks and deepest crannies. I know I’ve come back to you so many times, but this time it’s really over. No amount of content will make me content, plus I’ve found someone else named Halo. So don’t come around looking for me, promising 14 more free days. I am better off without you.”

New York Man Arrested for Playing Videogames While Driving

In Uncategorized on July 20, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I need one of these for Peggle!

I need one of these for Peggle!

A New York man was  arrested going the speed  for going the speed limit today while playing Gran Turismo on his PS3. A local police officer stated:

“At first we thought he was just another drunk driver, but we quickly realized the truth when he we saw him swearing profusely at his rear view mirror. The driver had mounted the eight by eight inch LCD screen installed in the mirror and had taped his motion sensitive controller to the steering wheel, so as he turned it the car in the car in the game would turn too. He was doing fine till he got onto the highway [a real one] and started doing laps into oncoming traffic. I’ll be honest, it looked like a lot of fun, but it’s lucky we arrested him when we did; we found out later that he was planning to play Grand Theft Auto 4 next.”

This is the first what the city of New York is calling an enforcement of common sense, but has become widely unpopular with people seriously addicted to  World of Warcraft, and douchebags who can’t wait to get out of their car to play Sudoku on their iPhone.

Feds Foil WoW Terror Plot

In Seth Nicholas Abel on July 15, 2009 at 2:18 pm
World of Warcraft terrorists behind bars.

If they weren't locked up, they might be terrorizing you!

The FBI responded to a complaint of a teenage boy threatening to hijack a plane and kill as many people as possible over the popular MMO World of Warcraft. The FBI acted with stunning speed and precision that one onlooker was heard saying, “Now if they could have been this efficient with actual terrorists none of this 911 crap would have ever happened.” The teen was seen being shoved into the back of a black unmarked SUV shouting “Leeeeeeroy!”

This arrest is the beginning of what the FBI has dubbed “Operation: Virtual Terror” In which FBI agents posing as GM’s sift through reports in popular MMOs looking for  terrorist activity.

Other FBI arrests this week include a five year old who was arrested after pointing a finger at a playmate near the jungle gym and saying “bang,” and an elderly gentleman who mentioned ‘C4’ at the Fresno 9th annual Battleship Tournament.

Peggle Themed Warcraft to Follow

In Seth Nicholas Abel on July 9, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Mom, I can't come to dinner! I am taking Onyxia solo!

Mom, I can't come to dinner! I am tanking Onyxia!

Yesterday after Popcap released a World of  Warcraft themed Peggle game free to play. Now Activision-Blizzard’s Bobby Kotick has responded with a surprise announcement of his own.

“We at Actiblizzard are proud to announce that we will be releasing a new Peggle themed World of Warcraft game. We expect it will be ready for release in 2012. Imagine, you’re a level 60 unicorn mage specc’d deeply into the Superglide tree, you happen upon a group of low level round pegs. So you decide to cast your AE ball throwing ability… wait this is kinda dumb isn’t it?”

The interview concluded as Kotick hastily ran out of the interview room, a trail of design documents fluttering behind him.

Iranian Protesters Miss Rally, Run Uldaman.

In Seth Nicholas Abel on June 26, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Pictured: 25 man Naxx raid.

Pictured: 25 man raid.

Yesterday, after discovering that the Iranian government had failed to block access to the popular game World of Warcraft, protesters lined up outside local retailers to purchase the game.

Limited communication between the protesters has been one of the biggest issues in organizing protest. Blizzard’s World of Warcraft has given protesters an alternate method of communication.

However the organization of the protests was not with out some difficulty. Initially protesters had trouble deciding on a PVP or RP server. And then again on whether they would be on the Alliance or Horde faction.

After the initial confusion, protesters seemed to forget about their political problems and became engrossed with leveling. Some protesters even found time to download the DDO demo, but were not impressed.

“I may have not changed the political situation here in Iran, but I finally got my regular mount!” said one level 38 protester before returning to killing stone elementals in Badlands.